You know the saying, one of the basic human needs is the need for variety. Naturally, when things are too peaceful, I, for some reason I don’t know, want to create some kind of excitement (or trouble, which is more accurate). I don’t know about you, but I have a natural tendency to look for troubles even in the finest situations. My boyfriend has always told me how much he loved me and that’s I’m the woman of his life, however, being a woman suspicious of men’s intention, I don’t entirely trust him. Whenever he failed to return home at the ordinary time, doubts filled my mind, even though he explained that he was merely visiting his friends. He just separated from his ex-wife and they share two daughters together. He used to be a popular boy that women loved in the past. For a woman with lots of insecurities to deal with and a history of being lied to by men, being with him means I have to fight my own insecurities and learn to trust him. Without trust, the relationship will never work.
So, that’s the theory. I lost my temper one day when he returned home late visiting his friend and didn’t buy something I especially asked him to buy. I took it as a sign that he doesn’t love me enough. I showed my tantrum. It was the biggest fight we’ve had so far in our relationship. He said he couldn’t stand me not trusting him and how my tantrum had caused him damages. He started behaving in an irrespectful way towards me (To be sincere, the same irrespectful way I behaved towards him when I was angry). There were more misunderstandings when we tried to converse, even when I tried to do something nice to him (without telling him in advance), he still took it the bad way. The turning point came when I couldn’t hold it and burst out crying before him. He softened down and asked me to come to his arms. Being completely hurt at the moment, I refused the offer and went to my room to…cry.
While in my room, after crying my eyes out, I had a chance to reflect upon the relationship. Is this something I want? Do I want our relationship to end like this? After thinking it through and the answer (which is No, just in case you wonder), I gathered up my left-over courage and returned to his room, knocked on the door, and without a word, went straight to his bed to lie next to him. He hugged me and we practically reconciled.
Fighting is an inevitable thing in a long-term relationship. However, with my temperament, I tend to fight even more often than the normal couple. I think the key to reconcilation after a hot argument is to step back, soften down, show your vulnerable side, and if you are a woman, show your man how much you still love him. If he loves you truly, he will forgive you.