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Blog Relationships

What to Do When You Are the One at Fault in a Relationship (In a Quarrel)

You know the saying, one of the basic human needs is the need for variety. Naturally, when things are too peaceful, I, for some reason I don’t know, want to create some kind of excitement (or trouble, which is more accurate). I don’t know about you, but I have a natural tendency to look for troubles even in the finest situations. My boyfriend has always told me how much he loved me and that’s I’m the woman of his life, however, being a woman suspicious of men’s intention, I don’t entirely trust him. Whenever he failed to return home at the ordinary time, doubts filled my mind, even though he explained that he was merely visiting his friends. He just separated from his ex-wife and they share two daughters together. He used to be a popular boy that women loved in the past. For a woman with lots of insecurities to deal with and a history of being lied to by men, being with him means I have to fight my own insecurities and learn to trust him. Without trust, the relationship will never work.

So, that’s the theory. I lost my temper one day when he returned home late visiting his friend and didn’t buy something I especially asked him to buy. I took it as a sign that he doesn’t love me enough. I showed my tantrum. It was the biggest fight we’ve had so far in our relationship. He said he couldn’t stand me not trusting him and how my tantrum had caused him damages. He started behaving in an irrespectful way towards me (To be sincere, the same irrespectful way I behaved towards him when I was angry). There were more misunderstandings when we tried to converse, even when I tried to do something nice to him (without telling him in advance), he still took it the bad way. The turning point came when I couldn’t hold it and burst out crying before him. He softened down and asked me to come to his arms. Being completely hurt at the moment, I refused the offer and went to my room to…cry.

While in my room, after crying my eyes out, I had a chance to reflect upon the relationship. Is this something I want? Do I want our relationship to end like this? After thinking it through and the answer (which is No, just in case you wonder), I gathered up my left-over courage and returned to his room, knocked on the door, and without a word, went straight to his bed to lie next to him. He hugged me and we practically reconciled.

Fighting is an inevitable thing in a long-term relationship. However, with my temperament, I tend to fight even more often than the normal couple. I think the key to reconcilation after a hot argument is to step back, soften down, show your vulnerable side, and if you are a woman, show your man how much you still love him. If he loves you truly, he will forgive you.

Categories
Trading

How to Interpret Trading Volume

For those of us daytraders, intraday volume analysis is an important part of our job. When you trade from the comfort of your home, you lack the ability to see the market in live-action, compared to people trading on the floor. To compensate for that, you need the ability to read chart patterns. Trading volume is an integral part of it.

Trading Volume Analysis

The more volume associated with price action, the surer the move. For example, for breakout trades, we all know from statistics that 80% of all breakouts fail. If you are a breakout trader, how do you know when to enter a trade and when to stay on the sideline? By looking at the volume. If the breakout bar is accompanied by a surge in volume, we know that there are a lot of traders who participate in this breakout trade and the price probably will continue. On the other hand, if the breakout bar shows no significant change in volume, you’d better sit on your hands.

Climatic Volume Bar

For breakout and breakdown trades, you may need high volume bars signifying a change in trend. However, when an abnormally high volume bar appears during a strong rally or selloff, it may signify an end to the current trend. Why? Because the high volume bar signifies that there’s a huge amount of stocks changing hands during that period, meaning there’s no one left who hasn’t participated in the trend. When there’s no more buyer, the price has to come down, and vice versa.

Conclusion

Understanding trading volume and knowing how to read intraday volume will help you succeed as a trader.

Categories
Trading Uncategorized

How Indecision Can Eat Away Your Trading Profits

Most of us traders have experienced this: Your confidence is extremely high and you are very profitable when trading the demo account. However, all of that disappears once you go live. Fear of losing money can negatively affect how you trade. Suddenly, you commit all the errors that you otherwise would not commit while trading with paper money.

How Indecision Can Kill Your Trading Career

So you have been watching that stock for a while and notice it has been trending up strongly since the start of the trading day, signaling the bull is controlling the market. The move was so fast from the beginning that you didn’t have a chance to jump on the bandwagon. Then, the stock stops climbing up and starts moving down, but slowly and on lighter volume. You know this may be a pullback and if you want to join in, now is your chance.

However, you hesitate to press that buy button as the price fluctuates up and down. Every time it moves a little bit lower, you ask yourself if the stock is actually beginning a downtrend instead of having a minor correction.

While you are still considering the alternatives, the stock makes a bold move and jumps up from the low. It keeps moving up, on higher volume. You sit there, freezing. The stock keeps moving higher, without you. Now it’s late to enter the trade. Congratulations. Your indecision has just ruined your chance of having a great trade.

Have many times had this happened to you when you first got started trading with real money? I bet many times. Because that’s exactly what happened to me.

Even though indecision may seem harmless, at least it didn’t result in a loss, it’s actually very harmful because it causes you to miss potentially homerun trades. Of course, you may argue that you just as well avoid potential losing trades as well. To test this theory, let’s keep a journal of the trades you decided not to take or miss. You need to jot down the potential profit (or loss) that missed trade could have generated. Once you have enough data, you can conclude whether you should do the opposite of your hesitation next time or not.

How to Be a Confident Trader

First of all, most new traders suffer from indecision, so do traders who have just experienced big losses. Your confidence level will rise as you gain more experience. However, this doesn’t mean you should let indecision affect how you make trading decisions. To be able to do this, you need to create a trading plan and stick to that plan. To be able to do that, you need discipline and lots of practice. No one can become a disciplined trader overnight. It’s estimated that you need an average of 10,000 hours of practice in any field to become an expert.

Before entering any trade, calculate your risk/reward ratio and your stop loss level. If the trade satisfied your risk/reward requirements, go ahead and push the button. If not, it’s ok to pass it and wait for a better opportunity.

Hesitation and indecision are common among new traders. However, with the right approach, you can speed up the learning curve and move your trading journey to the next level.

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Uncategorized

How to Not Get Distracted While in an Intense Relationship

Love is a distraction.

I’m sure you have heard that quote somewhere. If you haven’t, now you have heard it. The point is, if you think about it, the quote is more than correct. Anyone who has been madly in love can attest to the fact that it’s extremely hard to focus on other things while we are all head over heels over a person. Even when we are doing something, our mind still betrays us.

While I’m writing this post, I’m battling this particular problem. It feels fantastic to have found someone you hit it off so wonderfully. Someone who you can stand. Someone who is so compatible. Someone who can make you so happy.

But at the same time, it’s also so annoying to fall behind in practically everything. You don’t want to neglect your job, but you find yourself daydreaming about the relationship and that special someone when you are supposed to be working. That’s not a fun feeling. Well, at least it’s fun until you mess up your job.

How to Not Be Distracted By Love

Usually during the first few months when you get into a new relationship, you are overcome by infatuation that does your focus no good. After a couple has been together for some time, the initial head-over-heels feelings will subside, and if during that phase, a strong bond has been formed, the relationship will evolve to the next stage, which is more stable.

The Five Stages of Love:

Merge

This is also called the honeymoon phase. You are head over heels about each other. You see each other through a pink-colored lens. He/she is the perfect one.

Doubt and Denial

Now, during this stage, you start noticing the differences between you two. Maybe he/she is not the one after all. What you consider to be cute begins to annoy you. Feelings of love are intertwined with feelings of resentment and irritation. During this stage, conflict resolution skills are essential to help take the relationship to the next level.

Disillusionment

During this stage, all the ugly things that have been swept under the carpet come to the surface. Couples see each other in broad daylight, no tinted lens added. Many couples part ways during this stage because they stop investing energy into the relationship. Even the slightest disagreement can develop into full fights.

Decision

Now you are contemplating whether to leave the relationship or not. All the fights and emotional breakdowns seem too much to bear. You wonder what it would be like to start a new life with another person.

During this stage, the decision to stay or leave very much depends on how much you value the relationship and your partner, how happy you are, and whether you are willing to do the work necessary to fix any issue.

Wholehearted Love

Once couples move to this stage, they can congratulate themselves on reaching a major milestone. Now you are at a stage where you fully accept each other for who you are. There is still work to be done since maintaining a relationship is a continuous process. However, you have come to a stage where you can communicate and understand each other even on the hardest issues without feeling threatened or challenged.

How to Not Get Distracted By a Relationship During the Early Stage

If you don’t want to screw up your work or other interpersonal relationships during the honeymoon stage, there are a few things to keep in mind. First of all, remember how your life had been before that person came into your life. You surely had many responsibilities, hobbies, and goals as well. By focusing on that person only and disregard the rest, you are putting yourself in a dangerous position: You create a void that will suck you in if the relationship doesn’t work out. Moreover, do you imagine finding someone who neglects his work or his study attractive? Deep inside, you’ll think he/she is not reliable. Don’t be on the receiving end of that impression.

You Don’t Have to Focus on Him/Her 100% of the Time

Remember, if the relationship is meant to work out in the long run, he/she is meant to be yours. Remember the day you first purchase your car. You would think about your new proud possession all the time. You can’t probably stop looking at it. However, after some time, do you still think about your not-so-new car? You don’t. It has become something familiar, one of your possessions. You start taking it for granted. It’s the same for a relationship. When someone enters your life, you can’t stop thinking about that person. However, once you have come to accept that person as a part of your life, your focus moves on to other things.

If your partner is meant to stay, he/she will be there for you. There’s no need to keep thinking about them all the time.

Be in the Presence

Do you realize that you often think about your partner when they are not present? If you do that, it means you are not living in the presence. When they are absent, you start thinking about the good (and not so good) memories with them, thus you are living in the past, or you start imagining the future of the two of you together, thus you are living in the future. You are simply not there, at that moment, in the presence. Living in the past or future is bad for you, no matter how good it makes you feel. You are robbing yourself out of your own presence, and only the presence counts since the future and the past are just illusions.

To avoid this, practise mindfulness. Invest your full energy and mind into whatever you are doing at the moment, be it making tea or scrubbing the toilet.

Work Towards Building a Future Together

You can’t build houses or purchase a computer simply by imagining them. While it’s satisfying to imagine your partner and you living in a nice house together or taking romantic trips to faraway destinations, turning those dreams into reality is another matter. Your dreams won’t miraculously materialize if you don’t budge an inch.

Instead of wasting time dreaming about the future, start working towards building that future with your partner. It will be much more beneficial to the relationship (and your financial situation), than sitting there dreaming.

Find a Hobby

If you don’t already have a hobby, now is the time to find one. Already have hobbies? Why not ask your partner to join you? Not only will you two have something to do together, but you also shift your focus away from the relationship. It’s good for both of you.

Above are some simple yet effective tips on how to avoid distractions in a relationship. What works for one person may not work for another. Your job is to find the one that works for you.